Traffic Marmalade

February 23, 2006

I usually don’t mind traffic all that much.  It gives me more time to listen to the radio and feel like I’m achieving something while I’m not actually doing something arduous.  I enjoy driving too, so even though I’m very very impatient about most things, I’m generally not too irked by the (relative) gridlock of the city where I live and work.

But today took the chocolate eclair. 

Why can’t people just indicate?  It’s not that hard.  In fact it’s not hard at all – you have to be able to do it to get a licence.  If you can breathe you can indicate, surely. 

I have a friend who told me once he “doesn’t believe in indicating.”  Ok now I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I do tend to believe in things that are necessary to protect my life and those of others.  To not believe in indicating is like not believing in sticking plasters, or not believing in lifejackets – it defies commonsense – hell, it even defies belief!

But unfortunately there seem to be a lot of people out there who, like my friend, are tithing regularly to the Church of Latter Day Non-Indicators.  (I’m sure they are signed up citizens of Planet Crazy too).

Just one example from today:

I was stopped at an intersection, at the front of the lane.  Lights go green, we all start driving forward.  The car to my left (lets call it Fernando) decides it really wants to be in my lane so it just starts moving rightwards, bugger the fact that I am already in the lane.  I try to slow down to avoid Fernando, but then it decides it actually really really wants to be in the lane on my right so friend Ferdy continues the swerve right across, finally indicating right at the end of this maneuvore.  Having had to slam on the brakes I am somewhat irritated so I beep.  Just as well I did this because I hadn’t yet fulfilled my quota of abuse and swearing for the day.  It was quickly filled by the passenger of Fernando, who also met my daily requirement of offensive gesturing. 

I suppose I probably should have thanked them for not actually hitting my car, perhaps that would have sent a better message and we could have had a big love-in and swapped email addresses so that we could chat online later, with emoticons and everything.

Sometimes I really do find only one thing makes me feel better:

Survival of the fittest.

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2 Responses to “Traffic Marmalade”


  1. […] They can’t indicate, they can’t understand basic instructions, they can’t demonstrate common decency or manners, they can’t respect other people, they can’t clear their messages, they can’t reply to emails, they can’t remember to turn the iron off, they can’t look when reversing out of the driveway, they can’t take the laundry out of the washing machine and hang it out, they can’t actually check if something is correct before they start spewing it all over the internet, they can’t recognise that other people are actual human beings that have feelings.  Ok that’s enough for now, you get the picture. […]

  2. pistolpete Says:

    First, not to quibble with your friend, but there is a wide range of “belief” options between God & the tooth fairy. I would personally contend God does protect your life whereas the tooth fairy just breaks & enters your house, leaving only a tip behind. As for non-indicators, they could be either God-believers or tooth fairy-believers, or both. But, I agree with you that either way they have no common sense.

    Next, you were wise to stick to expletives rather than actually exit your car – see my blog today on “Necessary Therapy”.

    Finally, you are a great writer. Keep blogging. I’ll be back.


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