The sad tale of Mr Individual

June 15, 2006

The list of annoying workmates that I've blabbed about on here just keeps growing.  I suppose that's the beauty of working in a big school – there are lots of "interesting" characters to write about.

Mr Individual possesses the most non-teacherly personality I have yet encountered.  He seems to actively hate children, and in fact any woman who isn't available to him for sex.  Sure, he can stomach these people, be nice to them when it's necessary for his day to go more smoothly, but the things he says behind people's backs in the staffroom…  Well let's just say it's a lot worse than anything you'll read here.

His politics are somewhat out of place in our school, but Mr Individual has no shame about sharing them.  Not that he necessarily should hold them back, but he could probably anticipate some of the hostile reactions he gets to statements about how he shouldn't have to pay for free doctors' visits for children, because he has chosen not to have any.  This is a constant source of declaimation for him – he has no kids, so he shouldn't have to fund x, y or z with his hard-earned money.  (Yes he does seem to realise the irony that he is paid from the public purse, but he also openly advocates the privatisation of the schooling system, so that's ok.  He seems to have dreams about McDonalds operating the local primary, so that it churns out perfect little fast-food workers, while the really smart ones could go on to iPod College and have their brain juices harnessed by the computer corporations instead.)

I suspect the "choice" he's made about creating and rearing offspring has been made for him by the fact that he is quite unable to attract a long term partner of any gender whatsoever.  I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he's never even had a pet for more than three months. 

His constant objectifying of women, in a female-dominated profession, is like some kind of bizarre death-wish.  It enrages me on a regular basis, his rants about the women's beach volleyball, his desire to go on a Strip Club Crawl, not to mention his constant physical ratings of any woman mentioned in discussions about current events.  (The Prime Minister gets a 1 on Mr Individual's meter of attractiveness – I don't think she needs to worry though, having held the position of PM for seven years and been highly successful at it probably acts as a considerable cushion against the jealous rantings of a frustrated high school teacher who doesn't even warrant any management units.)  Of course he's not likely to find himself on any calendars as Mr September any time soon, but that doesn't matter – only women need be judged on appearance, and any woman would be lucky to have Mr Individual grace her bed even for just one night, apparently.

It's quite bizarre to find him working as a teacher, especially in a public school.  I have this theory that he started out his career all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but that something horrible happened to him, which changed him irrevocably from someone who loved to teach, to a grumpy curmudgeon, old and bitter before his time.  I wonder sometimes if Mr Individual's heart was broken by another teacher, or he was falsely accused of abuse (which must be a constant worry for male teachers these days). 

Now he seems stuck in a career he ostensibly hates, but he has too much inertia to retrain or try something else.  Instead he likes to spread his hate and malice around our staffroom, perhaps trying to infect others so that he doesn't feel so alone and vulnerable.  He feels like a total individual in a profession which values collectivity, so he tries to isolate everyone else too, with his nastiness and spite.

Strangely enough, I wish something nice would happen to Mr Individual.  Something so nice that it changed him for the better, something that spoke so undeniably of the benefits of being happy, of sharing things, of the strength that being part of a group can give you, that he had some kind of epiphany.  So that Mr Individual could start seeing the colour in life, and not just the shades of grey.  Oddly I find myself wishing him love, when I'm not so angry with him that I'm actively desirous of his violent and painful death.  Maybe love could crack out the human being inside Mr Individual's carapace of disdain.

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2 Responses to “The sad tale of Mr Individual”


  1. […] So Mr Individual made a startling announcement in the staffroom today – he has changed his mind and he wants to procreate at some point. […]

  2. mujaw Says:

    Good site!!!


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